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Fiehluna`s Journey

E-BookEPUBePub WasserzeichenE-Book
360 Seiten
Englisch
treditionerschienen am11.01.2021
The moving life story of a young woman from Cameroon to Germany. Fiehluna grows up in Cameroon with her very strict father and many siblings. Not only is he violent towards the whole family, but he also holds them as prisoners. His anger knows no bounds. But that doesn't stop Fiehluna from secretly meeting with friends and growing up like a normal girl. She is firmly convinced that her father is using the wrong parenting method, she wants to stop him. When Fiehluna turns 18 years old, she finally confronts her father.

Fiehluna Assungwa, geboren 1981 in Kamerun, hat Betriebswirtschaftslehr studiert, wohnt und arbeitet seit 2002 in Deutschland.mehr
Verfügbare Formate
BuchGebunden
EUR19,99
BuchKartoniert, Paperback
EUR14,99
E-BookEPUBePub WasserzeichenE-Book
EUR4,99

Produkt

KlappentextThe moving life story of a young woman from Cameroon to Germany. Fiehluna grows up in Cameroon with her very strict father and many siblings. Not only is he violent towards the whole family, but he also holds them as prisoners. His anger knows no bounds. But that doesn't stop Fiehluna from secretly meeting with friends and growing up like a normal girl. She is firmly convinced that her father is using the wrong parenting method, she wants to stop him. When Fiehluna turns 18 years old, she finally confronts her father.

Fiehluna Assungwa, geboren 1981 in Kamerun, hat Betriebswirtschaftslehr studiert, wohnt und arbeitet seit 2002 in Deutschland.
Details
Weitere ISBN/GTIN9783347231399
ProduktartE-Book
EinbandartE-Book
FormatEPUB
Format HinweisePub Wasserzeichen
FormatE101
Verlag
Erscheinungsjahr2021
Erscheinungsdatum11.01.2021
Seiten360 Seiten
SpracheEnglisch
Dateigrösse4757 Kbytes
Artikel-Nr.12570107
Rubriken
Genre9201

Inhalt/Kritik

Leseprobe



Abandoned

It is 6a.m. My siblings are getting ready to leave for school, dawdling more than usual. My eldest sister Sandy is rushing them, more frantic than usual. She always takes on the role of mother - when Mother doesn t come out of her room. This morning though, Mother is here.

I am just four years old, but I can feel that there is something wrong. Today is not the usual scramble for jackets and bags and books. Mother is very sad. I can feel it. She holds me tight in her arms for a while and strokes me tenderly. As soon as she lets go of me, though, I see the pain in her eyes. I m starting to panic. There are the packed suitcases at the door and I heard her invite a friend over to our house earlier this morning. Now I m beginning to understand that she may be leaving us.

My younger sister, Hilda, looks at me. Her eyes are big and frightened. Mother is carrying her in a cloth wrapped around her back. Maybe she is taking Hilda with her. My other siblings and I are staying back.

Mother starts to pray, her eyes are wet, and she cries, pauses, cries again. She wipes her tears again and again. She loses her voice and keeps crying. Then she goes quiet for so long that I think she is ill and in pain.

Mum! Are you feeling pains? I ask, and grab her fingers with my small hand. She looks at me and tries to fake a smile, then shakes her head.

No, she says. Everything is all right.

I don`t believe her. I know that something has happened. She has never tried to hide her tears from us; it would have been pointless anyway. Even little me; I already know bad things are going on in our family. My older siblings are aware of it and more. But this morning, it is different. Mother must surely be crying about something worse.

May God be with you, my children, she says with a voice choking back tears, and then holds me very tight in her arms one more time. My little one, I m not proud of my actions today, but I have to do this, I have no other way and hope all of you will one day forgive me. She looks straight into my eyes as she says this.

I have to leave you. I can feel her hands are shaking.

Wherever I go, whatever I do, you ll always be in my heart. I love you. Never forget that. I love you all so much and nothing can ever change that. You re the reason why I m still alive. But I have to leave now. I have to stay alive for you. I need my life back. I cannot go on like this. She runs to her suitcases.

I ll visit you regularly, I promise! She says this while weeping and kissing each and every one of us goodbye.

I promise! She repeats this over and over, walking faster. I promise. I promise.

I start to believe that she is actually leaving us. I run after her and grab her hand. I hold it so tight; it can stay tight in mine forever. I plan not to ever let go of this hand.

Mum, where are you going? I scream in tears. Did father hit you last night? I didn t hear you scream. Has he hurt you more?

My mother tries to gently pry my hand off of hers while talking sweet words to me, but I can t hear what she is saying. I m weeping and screaming her name!

Mum, mum! I cannot imagine life without my mother.

Mother manages to remove my hand from hers. I quickly grab her dress.

Mum no! Please don t go! I beg. Her dress slips away. She is walking towards the terrace where her friend has been waiting with her suitcase. I run after her and grab her dress again and fall down. She tries to move but I m clutching the dress so tight, she would have to drag me.

Help me, we have to leave now, she says to her friend. She looks down at me with a desperate pity and understanding, removing my hands. She knows how I feel. Let s hurry up she urges her friend.

I can t understand why Mother s friend is doing this to me. Why is she taking my mother away from me? Can t she see how I m crying?

Mum no! I scream again, and grab at my mother but her friend holds me back and tells my mum to run and leave the compound immediately. I cannot believe my eyes. I see my mother sprinting away from me.

All my siblings are crying. Sandy takes me from Mother s friend, wrapping her arms around me firmly while Mother s friend leaves too. Although we can t see the car when it rounds a corner, we stand there screaming Mother s name. The whole neighbourhood can surely hear us, but nobody comes. The neighbours are used to such noise coming from our home.

They all know from the time when they first tried to intervene for my mother, that it would be useless to say anything against my father. He is rich, and money can buy anything in Cameroon, even the police. When someone called the police on my father, they didn t show up; instead they gave him the name of the caller. That made things worse.

Corporal punishment is lawful in Cameroon, in the schools and at home.

My mother decides on this particular morning in 1985 that she can no longer take this maltreatment. She is worn out. She has no strength left. This is the eighth time that she has left my father. Seven times she sneaked away to visit and he succeeded in convincing her to come back to him- mostly after three or four weeks. He always made her comeback.

This time, Mum will never come back. We know this time.

Father should not hear any of this, no word to him, Sandy says while we are on our way back from school. Do you hear me? I nod. I ll do as Sandy says. She takes care of my siblings and me. My mother has always been unable to take care of us; she has always suffered from depression Although Sandy is just eleven years old, she is like a mother tome. She has always taken care of us.

It is 3p.m., father is back from work! The moment he gets into the house - he is screaming.

I can t see any food on the table. Why is my food not on the table, where is your mother, where is Hilda? He yells like a madman.

Cecilia!

Mother is not home, Sandy says carefully. She might have gone to the hospital. She hasn t cooked anything. She hasn t been feeling well since yesterdayâ¦

You don`t believe that! Nonsense! My dad is completely out of control. He starts again on Hilda: Where s Hilda?

She must have gone with Mum to the hospital. I haven t seen her since I came back from school this afternoon. Sandy s voice sounds quite relaxed as she lies to my father.

You are just as mad as your mother! He comes raging back.

You are lying your head off. Tell me the truth, now! But Sandy stays silent. Dad loses control. Where is she? Tell me now! He knows what has happened. He does not need to keep asking her. Sandy will never betray mum by telling him where she is. She has never done that, and will never do so. Dad knows this, so he yells even louder. I look at Sandy, she is just as scared as I am now, but her silence gives me more strength.

Father s second wife, Pauline, in her apartment nearby can certainly hear father yelling at us. It s not her business. What goes on in our apartment has never been her business. Moreover, she is pregnant at the moment and very busy with her own issues.

The problems between my parents have multiplied recently. Dad spends as much time with Pauline as possible. He has almost no time left for us. He doesn t even eat with us. He is scared that my mother might poison him. This is ridiculous but he is very serious about it. He forces my mother to taste any food that she has prepared for him first. This humiliating act repeats itself every day. He takes a spoon and stirs the food all around in every dish until everything is well mixed then she has to taste it, again and again. Only after she has done this, will he eat the food. It s so ludicrous, one could laugh about it, but in reality it is not at all funny. It s extremely sad.

It is common in Cameroon for a woman to cook and serve food for her husband every day. It doesn t matter how many wives the husband has, every woman in the household has to do the same.

My father is served in our apartment as well as in Pauline s apartment, every day after work. He first of all goes and eats Pauline s food, although my mother is a better cook than Pauline. That doesn t matter to him; he wants to prove to Pauline that he loves her. Pauline is young and attractive. Father pleases her every day with this action and tries to make my mother jealous by doing this. This is just another humiliation for her. My father lets Mother know that Pauline is his favourite. He eats at Pauline s first, with great joy, and then behaves with my mother as though his life is in danger.

I see this and feel very sorry for my mother. She is forced to watch Father take every opportunity to show Pauline how much he loves her. Pauline has been enjoying this right from the beginning. She demonstrates her love for my father openly, especially when my mother is around and can see it. This happens very often, since we live in the same house.

Pauline only comes to our part of the house to create problems....

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